Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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