Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
