someone get that fucking seahorse.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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