thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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