you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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