OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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