How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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