Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
