I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
