Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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