I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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