My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She bit a glass in half.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize