Whod you bang
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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