Apparently you make a good broom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize