He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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