Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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