His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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