You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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