we're chasing vodka with high fives
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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