Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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