the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
