Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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