No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
