All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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