Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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