Me too!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
