I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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