Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
