good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
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it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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