I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
