so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
