There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
