since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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