I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i think my cat just said my name.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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