rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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