And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
