I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize