all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
