I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
