just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
