What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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