I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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