Yo dont text me then not text me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
