Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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