Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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