I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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