Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
