I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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