I heard we made out
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
