I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
