Pappa wants mamma naked
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
