my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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