we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize