i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
