New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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