are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
