i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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