billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
