I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
