His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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