Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
